What Really Happens When You Respond to a Sugar Daddy/Momma DM

So you're probably thinking I'm the dumbest person alive for trying this out...and you wouldn't be 100% wrong. However, I feel like someone had to do it for everyone else to learn from, and I truly didn't mind being the guinea pig.

If you're a young woman on Instagram, you've probably had loads of direct messages (dms) from random nobody accounts asking you to be their Sugar Baby. Sometimes, they'll even say that you don't have to do anything sexual and they just want to pay you to be their friend. Most of these accounts have few followers, usually averaging at 100-200. Sometimes, their bios seem harmless and boomer-esque; Other times, the pictures are all broadcasting how they are willing to pay someone to be their Sugar Baby.

One day, I got one of my first dms from a Sugar Momma. I figured if it works out, at least I get to talk to a nicer older woman and not a scummy old man. I found that she called me "baby" very quickly. She also had some grammar mistakes that told me she wasn't a native English speaker--the first obvious tell of a scam. As I continued to talk to her a bit, she brought up my "allowance" and that she wanted to pay me already. I figured if a check bounced, it wasn't the end of the world. What was odd though, is that she demanded that it was through Zelle. She refused to use Venmo or PayPal. When I started to back down and say that I didn't really need the money, she called me nonstop.

I was also talking to someone else who dmed me just to see if there were similarities in their communication. I knew that if there was, then this was definitely the next big scam. I got my friend to dig up screenshots from our texts about this whole situation, since my computer completely died and all of our texts were wiped.

In order to deposit the check, the woman made me screenshot my limit for deposits to ensure that all of the money would go through. I was very careful about not having any of my bank account information showing in this picture. Once I sent it, she asked for my email to send the check. Oddly enough, she said that her boss would write the check to me, so it wouldn't be from her own email. This was another pretty obvious sign that something sketchy was going on. As soon as I recieved the email, I sent it to my friend who is studying Finance right now.

As you can see, there's some information about the sender, so I took the time to research them. It seems like it belongs to a home renovation company called Top Choice Windows & Doors.

*Update: Years later, I'm currently working on getting a settlement from Zelle for this fraud situation, I decided to look up the address once again. Another thing that came up for the same address is a recording studio called Trackout Studios. It even has an Instagram page, which makes it seem legit! The first post is only from July 31, 2021, so it was over a month after this incident.

Below, the screenshot I sent to the woman proving that I was depositing the check.

Usually, checks take time to be posted in your bank account, so I didn't sweat it. I went out to get lunch at Playa Bowls, which is when my card DECLINED. I couldn't believe how embarrassing that was because I knew for certain I had enough money. After all, I literally just checked my account balance. I don't have any other cards, so I went home to call my bank and sort things out.

I checked my balance as soon as I got home, and it was in the NEGATIVES. Even if a check bounces, there's no reason for it to take out more money than the check amount. For some unknown reason, the customer service agent for my bank was not understanding the situation. We went back and forth several times. I desperately tried to find different wants to say the same thing in 500 different ways. Thankfully, my experience as a language tutor came in handy for this. What's hilarious to me is that she probably thought I was so stupid for being confused that the check bounced and losing that money. What finally got her to understand was a play-by-play of the situation: I had X amount of money in my account. Then, I deposited the check, which was Y amount. Then, it bounced, which should have been Y amount, leaving my bank account at the initial X amount. However, Y amount was removed twice, so I was left with a negative balance. I reckon it took around 30 minutes to set this straight, and I was worried that my Playa Bowls was melted at this point.

Thankfully, the customer service agent was able to solve the issue quickly once she realized the error, and I headed back to eat my lunch. In addition to this relief, Playa Bowls just stuck my bowl in the freezer--assuming correctly that it would be a while--so it was still intact. I happily used my card and sat outside to enjoy my Nutelloco bowl in the sun.

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You're probably wondering what happened next with the sugar momma, and the answer is... nothing. I blocked her, then promptly filled out a fraud report to the FBI. From then on, I have made sure to steer clear of these scammers, but it was honestly kind of fun testing it out. I only received threatening texts from an unknown number, which I am assuming was to cover the scammers' asses. (See below) I'm pretty confident no FBI agent would ever sent me an urgent message via text, but okay lol.

*The original post was made on June 16, 2021. Update text was written on November 4, 2023.