How Queer Eye & Marie Kondo Changed My Relationship With My Parents

My whole life, my dad has always grilled me about how much clothing I have. Funny coming from a man with a literal walk-in closet. Aside from clothes, he hoards tons and tons of other things. You can hardly step on a single square inch of uncovered floor in his office. I kid you not, there must be thousands of loose papers in that room.

This summer, I binge-watched Queer Eye and Marie Kondo videos while fulfilling my desire to start creating digital art. It turns out that these shows are perfect for this because you can look up every once in a while and still follow along with ease. Once I exhausted all of the content available on Netflix, I decided it was time to bring matters into my own hands. Unsurprisingly, my dad was NOT keen on this. I wasn't going to take "no" for an answer though.

Step 1. I took all the items on hangers off the rack and stacked them on my parents' bed. My mom was up for the idea of cleaning out my dad's closet, but she started to be a little less happy when piles of clothes took over her Candy Crush spot. Marie Kondo explains that you should lay everything out to get an idea of how much stuff you really have. It's going to be overwhelming, but it should also be the fuel to help get you to start organizing.

Step 2. Sort everything into 3 piles: keep, maybe, donate/toss. This is the longest, and most difficult step. Kondo makes it easy with her famous quote, "Keep what sparks joy." I like to follow this philosophy when I'm buying new clothes in addition to getting rid of old ones. If you aren't 100% about something, then you don't need it.

Going through my dad's clothes was a crazy trip down memory lane. There were some shirts that he had from college!! Other articles were from trips abroad or from numerous marches for one of many political stances. It was really cool to finally hear stories about my dad's life before me, and even before he met my mom! I had no idea he had been to soooo many places around the world. I also learned some funny college prank stories that seemed almost impossible to believe.

There was no way we were going to get through all of these hung clothes in one day, so we took the remaining stacks off of the bed and set them aside on the floor for the next day. It took us 5 days and 7 trash bags to get through everything! You also wouldn't believe how many neckties this man has. I will admit, he has a pretty cool electric tie holder that rotates at the push of a button.

The most rewarding thing that came out of this whole experience was seeing my dad's self-confidence increase. As the seemingly never-ending pile of clothes got lower and lower, you could really see the smile on his face widen at the end of each sorting session. As a sentimental hoarder myself, I know how hard it is so let things go--especially when the road ahead is so long. It just takes someone else believing in you to take the first step.

Step 3. Put everything back in its place. When I tell you that the pipe holding up all of his clothes before was sinking in the middle, I really mean it. Not only was the rack finally freed up enough to slide items around, but it didn't look like it was 2 blazers away from splitting in half! His drawers could close all the way for the first time in forever and there was a designated place for everything. No more digging around to find that one last thing!

We shared immense relief felt across the three of us when the bedroom was cleared and the closet was several pounds heavier. This might have been one of the first times in years that my dad said, "Thank you," to me that didn't involve a physical gift. The past several days have also been the longest time my family has spent together at once with minimal fights. So, even though COVID has ruined a lot of things for us, I'm thankful for the time is has provided for my family to grow closer than ever before.

Update: November 25, 2020

I've come home for Thanksgiving, and to my surprise, my dad has added actual storage units for everything! Back over the summer, we used cardboard boxes, like the ones from Hello Fresh, to store the extra stuff (bed sheets, swimwear, etc.). Now, there's a gorgeous white unit of drawers and collapsible LABELED storage bins! My dad was so so proud to show me and it was really adorable. I loved seeing him so happy with himself after all this time of dealing with his crowded corner of the attic.